So, I'm going to need some serious advice from out there. Annie, Noah, and Brigham have been fighting so much lately! It's almost guaranteed that if at least two of them are together in a room for more than 10 minutes, the sharp words start, followed by yelling, followed by a few pushes, or hits, or stomps on the feet, then finally someone comes crying to me, occasionally followed by another kid mumbling "sorry" to the crier. Now I know that it's the end of summer, and maybe the kids have seen a little too much of each other. Maybe things will calm down once Annie and Noah start up with school tomorrow . . . but maybe not.
I remember reading an Ensign article where a mom wrote that she took literally the Mosiah chapter 4 verse about not letting your children fight. So she or her husband would intervene every time their kids started to argue. That doesn't exactly feel right to me, because kids aren't always going to have their parents around to work out their problems for them; they need to learn to do it on their own eventually. But it also doesn't seem right to always let the kids just go at each other until someone runs away in tears; someone needs to teach them problem solving skills (I guess that would be me?).
I usually end up going back and forth between refereeing and ignoring, which is resulting in some major inconsistency. Anyone found anything that works (at least sometimes) for you? Please let me know - I'm desperate here!!
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7 comments:
What is it about the last weeks of summer. I was thinking the same thing about my kids right before we went back to school. Now that we are back, I can say the fighting has slowed.
Must be going around because my kids have caught it lately too. Especially Trey who is usually really well behaved. He has always been so good with his brothers but lately he has got a thorn in his side. He has been teasing and pushing a lot. It doesn't help that Tennyson has always been a bit rough and hits and kicks on a usual basis. In fact lately it is just daily routine that he pushes or hits one of the twins because they are getting into something he has. I'm not sure what to do either. I think sometimes it is consistant if you ignore the small stuff and intervene when it could really teach a lesson. I'm sure God probably has to ignore a lot of small arguments while he jumps in on the all out fights. Good luck. Let me know if you find something that works
I have found that placing children in the snapdown rubbermaid containers with nail holes for air considerably cuts down on fighting, but no so much on the crying. Hang in there honey
Chris
have you found anything that works? same thing over here...i love chris' idea.:)
This must be something new that happens with this younger generation. I don't recall my children ever having these problems. But my suggestion for you is: as soon as you get them in the snapdown rubbermaid containers, call FedEx or UPS and have them sent immediately to their grandparents in Roosevelt, Utah.
I ground Pyper and Elle from each other. They HATE it. They can't talk to each other, or play with each other, or ANYTHING. I works every time. When I finally lift the punishment, it is a major love fest. My mom used to force me and my brother together, and I decided that I would do the opposite of anything she did because it made me really not like him. (i like him a lot now!) Good luck!
Well since I only have 1, I am more than qualified to answer this question! :) I heard one thing that I thought was funny. If they started fighting they had to lay on the ground, heads touching, facing up and SING their argument. It was never very long before the kids were laughing. I don't know if this will work but I thought I would try it on my kids someday.
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